Twiki's Secret Love-child, a Puppet, and a Scientific Experiment

Have you ever wondered what our politicians did BEFORE they took up employment in Westminster? Personally, I thought they just chose the profession where they could most easily screw over the largest amount of the British public as possible. Sometimes I wonder though, about what could have happened in the former lives of these individuals to make them treat others so badly today.

I fully understand the 'get over it' and 'get on with your life' aptitudes buzzing around society today however, it should also be pointed out that certain character traits are passed down whilst others are simply learned or adopted from bad habits.

In my humble opinion, the following 'possibilities' would explain a lot.....

Theresa was Twiki's Secret Love Child

It has been suggested that Theresa May is actually the secret love-child of Twiki (Buck Rogers TV Star) and deceased PM, Margaret Thatcher. This would explain the heartless, cruel and robotic attitude to anyone in the UK who is disabled or working class which makes us all wonder if she is actually dead inside.

This photo was sneaked out of a No.10 family album—the resemblance is quite undeniable! Theresa May has a face like an arse that needs a good slap but I can honestly and happily state that I have never wanted to punch Twiki, as he was one of the good guys—just a bit naïve in his younger years.

In fact, I feel kinda sorry for him. This really wrecks his street cred.

The Muppet and the Puppet

Nigel Farage always seems to be described by the media in an entertaining way, as though we can't possibly be expected to take him seriously. Nigel's favoured 'one of the boys' image today is a far cry from when he played the character Parker in the Thunderbirds TV Series in his younger days. It really is such a shame that he couldn't learn from his on-screen character's well behaved and sensible example. Parker was one of the good guys in the show, and consistently solved problems rather than be seen to deliberately create them, just to get attention.

Perhaps current behaviour is a cry for the attention he has lost?The contrasting actions and behaviour seen between the two are so sad to watch in today's news and published media: one is a muppet, and the other was a puppet.

Boris was created in a scientific experiment.

Boris Johnson is what happened when scientists experimented with alpacas and ketamine. Ketamine, normally used as a form of anaesthetic or pain relief for horses, is known for its hallucinogenic properties and the feeling of alternative reality felt by humans who have taken this drug.This would explain the odd, bumbling and often confused behaviour of our fluffy-headed Boris. I am now wondering how an alpaca managed to get a job in parliament, and why he thinks his name is Boris.

This image sums up today's situation.......

Maybe the next lot we 'vote in' won't be such arseholes?

Perhaps we could forcibly adjust their behavourial patterns by putting them on performance related pay and banning any financial gains from business or employment transactions with ties to government contracts?

I feel that if they were forced to live in the conditions they force on the rest of us, they may correct their attitudes.

Do any of you think it would be worth a try?