Why I Abandoned Politics (To Contemplate How Politicians Smell)

To be honest, following politics for the multipartisan political analysis/comedy group Drafting The Hill kind of gave me a (gigantic) nervous breakdown/existential crisis worthy of a pill-popping soccer mom who just found out her husband is banging his much younger secretary that I'm just now beginning to recover from. Politics, at a citizen (plebs) level, really isn't anything except us human beings yelling over each other, ignoring the ignorance of their own "side" whilst screaming at the top of their lungs, furious about what the other "side" is doing. These "sides" don't even represent our ideologies as a nation (except the most extreme of us), yet since the "other side" stands against things we despise (whether it be religion, guns, socialism, healthcare, immigration, environment, trans kids, etc.), battle lines have been drawn and it doesn't matter how alien the rest of the philosophy your party speaks; as long they have one's back on the issues that are (emotionally) important to their members. I know pro-gun liberals and atheist conservatives, because their stance on politics is discussing the distractions the media has us wallowing in instead of discussing what is truly going on. These individuals should think of themselves as just that, individuals, not cogs a part of a larger political machine of which their personality is inherently connected.

Politics is fighting without a winner, as words aren't knockout punches and there is always another round (election/news cycle), regardless of the thrashing someone might have just received. When talking about wrestling, Ric Flair once said "We're heels; it's our job to get our asses kicked and lie about it the next day." The problem with politics is there are no faces and heels, no clear good and bad guys, and nearly every politician is John Cena, with half the country cheering for them and half the country rejoicing in pure and unadulterated hatred. Regardless of our divided opinion, it is their job to go out there, get their asses kicked every night, and lie about it the next day. Lie on the news, lie on Twitter, and, most important, lie to themselves.

It's not like corruption is going to go away. In this past week alone, Poland is trying to force out many of its Supreme Court justices with questionable new legislature while in Romania, a new law was passed severely lowering the penalties for corruption amongst politicians. The rich help each other trick the poor into cannibalizing one another, and that is the way of each and every nation, through each and every time frame. This will not change, regardless of how many MAGA hats we stomp out, how many liberals bash, or how much we riot on the streets. In fact, rioting in the streets is a great way to keep people occupied. They tear up their own towns/cities, and then go home feeling accomplished despite the fact the world is the exact same as it was before they protested. We might think camping out in front of banks or ICE facilities does something, but in reality, as long as they aren't being led to the guillotine, those who lead us could care less what we are doing.

Politics is too ugly for a beautifully handsome man such as myself. I've begun wrinkling prematurely, I'm frowning constantly, and to be perfectly honest ladies and germs, I can't take the overwhelming hate anymore. The division amongst my fellow citizens is driving me crazy, doubly so knowing how easily we are divided. All of this childish name calling, the blatant ignoring of facts, and the morbid wishing of death on all those who disagree with emotionally charged opinions has gotten the best of me. I had to avoid politics in general for more than a little bit, and now, having given myself a much-needed rest from this sea which never sleeps, am ready for my loud and often sarcastic voice to get back into Drafting the Hill.

However, I still haven't a stomach for politics. I do, luckily for me and for you, have a nose for it. But what does this mean exactly? You'll have to watch the new show A Nose 4 Politics, available on YouTube, iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, SoundCloud, and more. Because that is probably the extent of political discussion I can handle for God knows how long, as A Nose 4 Politics is truly the only political based show not trying to brainwash you. It is the only political show where the hosts don't scream over each other, desperately clinging onto their ideologies in an attempt to appear correct, yet not necessarily beright. A Nose 4 Politics is as nonpartisan as it gets folks, so I hope you enjoy. I do, and I can't remember the last time I said that about something political. I'm pretty sure a guy named Craig still ran The Daily Show.

Be sure to check out A Nose 4 Politics, the only weekly nonpartisan political show about smells on draftingthehill.com and stop being a tool for this system which enslaves us all, please.