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It's the Most RARFLARGLE Time of the Year

I'm so tired of Christmas.

By Grizzly MatthewsPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Sleighbells ring, are you listenin'?

In the air ... snow isn't quite glistening yet.

Already we're seeing the memes on Facebook, hearing the ranting on TV and radio programs, seeing the "protests," and even hearing directly from held-at-arm's-length "friends" and family about it.

The "War on Christmas."

Every year a very vocal crowd of people crows about how they're going to say "Merry Christmas" even though they think they aren't allowed to, like they're really gonna stick it to somebody. This is the same group of people that got angry at Starbucks for having red and green cups for the holidays instead of... cups with winter graphics on them, I guess. I still don't understand that whole debacle.

Every year, harried retail workers smile and wish people, "Happy Holidays" ... and sometimes have to sit through a speech about how it's "Merry Christmas, NOT Happy Holidays" as if wishing for somebody to have a great whatever-your-holiday-is is a grave insult.

Yet, unless you actually say something it's assumed — especially if you're white -- that you're obviously Christian and obviously celebrating Christmas.

Even if you're not.

Don't bother trying to correct them — not only is it a grave sin to acknowledge that any other cultures and religions have holidays at this time of year, it's the equivalent of pissing on the graves of the ancestors of these people to even hint that they might be overreacting. They don't overreact, after all, it's just us bleeding-heart liberals. As if the plights of minorities are a bigger deal than CHRISTMAS being UNDER ATTACK! Or something.

Let's not forget the hints at the "problem" being, you know, those people, they say, these easily-angered mostly-white Christians, with a knowing glance and a nod. They mean brown people. They mean Muslims. I can get away with frowning and saying, "Yes, I wish I could tell people to have a 'Blessed Yule' or a lovely Winter Solstice but it gets tiring dealing with that same 'Merry Christmas' schpiel every time I try." Or, well, I could when I was working retail, because I was one of the few people that was willing to put up with lottery sales — they needed me.

Remember: everything is the fault of Muslims, especially things they did not do. It's not like atheists, pagans, Hindus, Buddhists, Jewish people, or other non-Christians exist.

Ugh.

It's not that nobody's allowed to say "Merry Christmas," or that Christmas is being discouraged or shut down or somehow under threat — in retail, you acknowledge as much of your intended audience as possible, because you want to sell things to as many people as you can. Since Christmas is the holiday that gets the most air time, it tends to be catered to the most: trees, decorations, food, activities. Even if it doesn't outright say "Christmas," that's what it is. Unless it ... says something else, but if it does then you can bet that won't last long if there isn't a strong community behind it.

'Cause that Christmas Warrior crowd, they're brutal.

As with most everything else these people get up in arms about, the whole "War on Christmas" thing is yet another set of outrage-bait perpetuated by the same sorts that think Fox News is an honest-to-Gods respectable organization. There is no "War on Christmas." A bunch of right-wing pundits made it up, followed by more twits getting really huffy about people wanting to acknowledge that other stuff happens at this time of year.

Christmas is not and has never been "under attack."

Some people are just brats.

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About the Creator

Grizzly Matthews

Canadian blogger that enjoys ranting about politics, playing games, and using trees as scratching posts. Just assume they're a real live grizzly bear.

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