Help Should Start in the US

How many times have you heard, "We shouldn't be helping people in other countries when we have so many in need here, in the United States."

I used to think this way too... America first, help our own and then everyone else we can help after we've taken care of our own.

In theory, that is a great thought. Help should start at home.

But, how can you help with your arms tied behind your back? How can you help when you're restricted? How can you help when totalitarian rules for that help are in place, crippling even the simplest, kind act?

Until I got involved in social work and outreaches, I had no clue; I just always thought people in the US were callous.

I always noticed the waste... and it always bothered me.

I also noticed the "If you're needy you shouldn't be picky," types of attitudes from those trying to help the needy and never understood why they were so mean. "They're not picky...just poor...you don't get it and you just want brownie points," was always my first thought.

I never understood the real basis, the very REAL reason behind those attitudes.

But once I started my own homeless and needy outreach, I got a crash course on WHY, so many of our own don't need, and in many cases don't deserve, any help, let alone the help they DO get.

For a couple of years, off and on, I ran the Wren Hollow Outreach. I provided clothes, toiletries, shoes and blankets to the needy.

Or so I thought.

One young man lied about being a refugee, so he could use me as his personal store, wiping out my substantial inventory (much of it out of my own pocket) every time he contacted me, until I got wise and cut him off.

One lady, at a free pancake breakfast I donated time and goods to, after pilfering through all the generously donated purses I'd collected, looked at me with an air of indignation, sniffing... "Is THIS all you have?"

Another asked why I wasn't helping. I asked her what she needed my help with. I was told I was expected to help her pick out clothes, as if she were shopping at a high end department store and I was a sales associate.

And yes... THAT was exactly what she meant as she sniffed contemptuously at me, when I balked at her, suggesting she simply take what she needed.

Another asked to just take all the high end, name brands that had been donated.

These were all, "needy" people, supposedly.

More like entitled vultures who wanted everything for free, but only if it met their high expectations.

Dumpsters... where perfectly good items are carelessly thrown away because of insignificant or nearly non noticeable imperfections... overflow and items that still have a lot of life and could be of benefit to the truly needy, still end up in land fills, contributing to the ever-growing stain of ingratitude for all that we, as Americans have, yet waste.

This makes me beg the question... do we even have TRULY needy?

A friend of mine spent many years working for a store I won't name, and she told me about when a toy was broken, or deemed unsellable or no longer desirable, they were ordered, by the toy manufacturer when consulted, to not only destroy the toy, but they also had to send a photo of the completely demolished toy, to prove that it couldn't be sold, wouldn't be sold, or used in any way.

Now, I'm more than familiar with entitled users, takers-advantage-of and ingrates, but seriously? Completely demolish the toy rather than give it to a needy child via a reputable charity?

Another group I take serious umbrage with is any organization that—for the children—demands "new" toys.

We live in a cruel and sick world, so I understand the necessity of not taking wrapped toys. People can be obnoxious and evil and I can only imagine the twisted, "last straw" that prompted gifts be unwrapped when dropped off, but new? Really? Toys MUST be new?

Do you know how many yard sales I go to with new or almost new toys for sale, for pennies? I've also seen ones that could use a little TLC, but still have a lot of life left in them.

Yet, because they're second hand and not, "new," they're not good enough?

Ever hear the old saying, "beggars can't be choosers?"

Just because something is used/second hand/recycled, does NOT mean it's trash.

Somewhere along the line, in this self-centered, entitled world we live in, we've forgotten that.

Those unfortunate folks in third world countries who truly have NOTHING and would GLADLY take a doll that's missing a shoe, a truck or car that the paint is chipping, some crayons that have been used but are still useable, etc, that's where MY donations will go.

Americans have lost sight of value. If it's not new, it's trash. I guess I'm not alone in wanting MY donations to be appreciated, rather than glanced over, noses upturned in snobby indifference, just because they're not NWT (new with tags.)

You might think we're not patriotic, but, walk in our shoes. You'll soon see that you can't blame us for helping "others before our own," first when you see just how ungrateful our own can be.