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Don't Move To The United States and Get Cliquish

Being Cliquish Doesn't Help

By Iria Vasquez-PaezPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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People new to the United States do not understand the culture. Sure, our culture is what makes people suicidal, but that is another topic. We need to build a more supportive culture in general. People feel like nobody is willing to connect with them sometimes. Getting into cliques based on ethnicity is what the new immigrants do because they are scared to death. Not mixing amongst people is what can destroy a person socially. Learning English is necessary when moving to another continent altogether. The New World uses English as it’s the main language. But we are a melting pot or perhaps a salad.

Self-segregation makes matters worse. Making friends with somebody different from you is what the United States stands for, to begin with. Other countries are not as hospitable to new immigrants. Some are treated with outright hostility. I’m not naming specific countries but you know what they are if you have been to Europe. I’m saying that in the United States, we have ample opportunities to mix with people. I had a Russian psychiatrist way back, whose receptionist would scream at me sometimes, in Russian. Since I do not understand Russian, I was left at a disadvantage.

At San Francisco State, it was also cliqued by race. I met a Greek person who only connected with one friend of his, who happened to be a Hispanic black person. He felt lonely because nobody in his weightlifting class wanted to talk to him much. This is what white people do. It seems like they are the majority sometimes. Mixing with other races is not hard, it is about having good cultural knowledge about who you are talking to. At work, it is necessary to understand how to mix with people.

White people are cliquish, as bad as Indians sometimes, and this is because many people feel more comfortable around people they trust if they know a person different from them. Differences are made obvious in looks for example. But yet judging somebody by their skin tone is ridiculous. No racist people ever thought of it this way. Why are you busy being scared of something you do not understand? Don’t pay attention to petty differences that divide us. They are just that, petty. Everybody deserves an equal chance to get a job, get an education, and have health care.

What is frustrating is that everybody self-segregates and gets uncomfortable around people different from them. Some people act like they won’t bother. Race is a non-issue for me because I’m able to mix with other people very well. The thing is, many people do not do this. They don’t bother. This is lazy. It doesn’t get you many places. Sometimes, new immigrants work for companies full of people of their culture or race. See, therein, lies the self-segregation we Americans are good at doing. Many people sometimes do not recognize me as a Spanish speaker.

But then they do notice. I do not have many South American friends although I talk to everybody. I don’t even have that many Spanish friends my age. This is because I have mostly white friends or black people. I also have Asian friends. I’m able to mix freely quite often. I do not just stick with one kind of person. I’m able to mix quite well. The thing is, many people do not bother mixing. If you stick in your comfort zone, you are doing what the racists want, which is volunteering for self-segregation. If you live in one neighborhood, for example, full of one type of person, you are not mixing at all. If you talk to only certain types of people, that means you are not mixing, this is the bottom-line. You have to socialize with a variety of people in the United States to fit in. Sometimes there may be no such thing as fitting in though. Roll with it.

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About the Creator

Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan.

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