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Debating to Compromise

How to Solve Conflict With Reasoned Debate

By William ValleauPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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(Image from Green European Foundation)

To start off, I am an 18-year-old college student. While to some this may be an indication that I don't know what I'm talking about, set that aside for a moment. I have had years of debating and arguing under my belt, and from that experience I have learned what works and what doesn't. The art of debate is more necessary than ever in America. With vast anti-intellectual and partisan movements across the country, the "You're With Us or Against Us" mindset has been unfortunately spreading.

With that being said, I have chosen to write out the methodology I use in debate. While it doesn't work all the time, this method has helped me expand my own knowledge, compromise, and humanize people I never thought I'd understand.

Below is how I set up my debates and how I train myself to be prepared for them.

Preparations: Research

The first step to any debate is to be educated on the topic. Before you ever decide to argue against someone, make sure to find the most relevant and neutral information you can. Numbers will be your friend here, as will sources. The more sources that are within a text, usually the better the source. When you find information, it's a good idea to make sure that it not only has a source, but that the source itself has sources. This will take a while but it is worth it to be more understanding and knowledgeable.

Once you have what you feel is a strong base of information, you're ready for the next step of preparation.

Preparations: Debating Mindset

Likely the more important part of preparation, a debating mindset is a mindset not focused on winning. It is a mindset focused on finding the best possible solution that everyone involved can agree to. In my opinion, and the assumption for this whole strategy, is that the point isn't to win. The point of debate is to find answers.

Also part of the mindset is to not attack your opponent. Attacking your opponent might be a crowd pleaser in most politics and debate classes, but it shows that you don't have your own merits to work from and instead must attack your opponent to rile their ego or force them into a shouting match.

The final piece of this mindset is empathy. Don't become so self absorbed that you forget that your opponent is a person. As a person, they expect that you will respect them. Besides, both sides want things to be better. Working from them wanting to be person (a good person) will help you immensely even if you disagree.

Debate: Introduction

Now that you have the information that you want and the mindset to have a calm and reasonable debate, the question now becomes how to begin. Well, you for sure do not want to make an inflammatory comment. While I do this still, it is not conducive for solving a problem as it puts your opponent on the defensive and makes you the enemy. This kind of thinking kills debate before it begins.

What is better is a more "My Two Cents" approach. In this approach, instead of saying your opponent is wrong, you instead play off of their point of view to present your own. This approach looks less like an accusation and more just an added statement onto theirs. For most people, this makes whatever response they have come from a place of interest instead of hostility and makes you a person instead of the enemy.

Debate: Common Ground

The next step of the debate is to find common ground with your opponent. Start simple and largely unrelated, such as "We both want people to be happy" or "We want to be safe." From there, work forward WITH them instead of AGAINST them. Continue to do this until there is a disagreement and repeat until there is a specific part there is a disagreement on. In my experience, the disagreement at its core is usually small and is more in semantics or a small moral rule than anything major. It is from whatever core disagreement there is that there can be compromise.

Debate: Compromise and Solve

Once you have found a place to compromise and have not yet stated your beliefs on the topic, do so now. Stating your beliefs should be done in neutral and passive wording. Say "I" statements instead of "you" statements. After both parties have stated their beliefs, it is time to compromise.

First, simply decide what points of the beliefs you and your opponent cannot agree on and remove those entirely. They are no longer part of this debate. Then compare what is remaining, and in most cases what is left is similar. This creates a scenario I like to call Sanding. This is where you and your opponent metaphorically shave off the semantics of the set of beliefs and look at it critically. Don't be afraid to concede points to your opponent.

After some time, there should be a set of ideas that you and your opponent can mostly get behind and agree on. From these ideas you have humanized, empathized with, and now agree with your opponent. You are ready to discuss solutions.

The easiest way to discuss solutions in my experience is to change the belief statements into actions. For example, if hosting a gun debate (a US hot topic to be sure), if you say "I think all guns should be on a database" and your opponent says "I think gun vendors and owners should be responsible for their weapons, not the government" then the action form of these two pieces of the compromise is "There needs to be a database of firearms that can be accessed by consumers and vendors to trace a specific weapon." Through this, new ideas and solutions can be discovered you would have never considered alone.

Debate: Conclusion

At the end of any debate, it is necessary to thank your opponent for their respect and create the mutual understanding that you will both continue to learn and grow from not only each other but from other debaters. If you used personal attacks or became aggressive at any time during the debate, apologize privately. Explain why you become aggravated or felt it necessary. Most cases for me it was just a bad day or a touchy subject, and most people are willing to understand. Always swallow your pride and if you use this style for personal relationships or you are in a position to change, make sure to implement the compromise. If you are not, as in the case of politics, write your congressperson and spread the message.

Conclusion

Thank you very much for reading. I hope this method is helpful to you and my ideas on the topic are at the very least interesting to you. Stay curious and happy debating!

humanity
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About the Creator

William Valleau

A small time fiction and political amateur writer from a small town outside of Salem Oregon. I have an interest in analyzing fact and fiction. Check in for a wide variety of opinion related content.

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