Dear Donald, You're Wrecking My Relationships

I'm at a loss, and I can no longer feel comfortable talking to those I used to care about. Trump, you're wrecking relationships I have with friends, family, and others.


Dear Donald, 

I would like to congratulate you on accomplishing a feat I never thought humanly possible. Though you never actually met me, and though you never actually interacted with any of the people around me, you've managed to wreak a huge amount of my relationships with others. 

You see, you are a polarizing figure. You have this magical ability to bring out the ugliest traits in your supporters, and get them to follow you like blind pigs being led to the slaughter. Ever since you've gotten into office, you've emboldened people to show their sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and racist sides.

And frankly, it's wrecking my personal life. A lot. 

I can't recognize my family anymore.

This guy said it well, I think. 

Never in my life would I have thought I would have seen so many of my family members and neighbors support someone whose rise to power involved so much hate. 

I'm seeing people who voted for you in my family — my own flesh and blood — talking about how you're going to sweep up people I care about and put them in camps or in jails. The people they're talking about are the ones who took me in when I was homeless and gave me a job when no one else would. 

I'm seeing people who supported you, my friends and acquaintances alike, tell me why "being pro-life" and tell me that women should "pay for their own birth control." This is particularly sickening, since I was denied tubal ligations, lied to about birth control, and also denied a C-section after getting pregnant while being transgender. 

You don't know what that living through that kind of stuff does to a person, do you? I sometimes still wake up at night screaming and I still can't even go to get my teeth fixed because my PTSD might make me punch out anything in scrubs. That is hell, my friend. I live it daily.

When people tell me they're Republican or pro-Trump, I visibly recoil in disgust. Just the fact that they support the things you're doing says volumes about them. They don't care about the lives they wreck, nor do they care about people like me, who suffered unspeakably because of laws that you and your party put into place. 

I can't look at the people I liked, cared about, and lived with the same way anymore. And your presidency has brought these ugly, hideous sides out of them. I can't recognize them. 

How can I have healthy relationships with people who basically said they support the people who tortured me? How can I have a respectful exchange with someone who supports detaining people who gave me a place to stay when I had none?

I can't. I respect myself too much to be near people like that. So, I ended up cutting ties with friends, acquaintances, and yes, I've even (further) distanced myself from family members who decided Trumpish ideals are more important than keeping me around. 

I walked away from a lot of people after they voted for you.

The empty seat at the table would be where I used to sit. 

I'm not 100 percent sure you realize how badly this country is polarized. It's even worse, because a lot of your followers seem to be totally brainwashed. 

Half of the time, talking to them makes us feel like we're dealing with cult members who have decided to choose God Trump and God Hate, over their family. I ought to know; I've met plenty of cult members in my time. You do have a cult backing. 

Most of us "filthy libtard snowflakes" also are aware that brainwashing has been going on. One girl even made a documentary, called The Brainwashing of My Dad, showing how her own father, via right-wing brainwashing, turned into an angry, hate-filled person. 

It's heartbreaking to hear your own family call you "stupid" or "brainwashed" when you talk politics and show them newspapers. That's why I stopped eating dinner with them — and why a lot of people I knew for ages are no longer welcome to my wedding. 

Then again, I don't think they're that upset. They probably aren't fans of interracial, cis-to-queer weddings, anyway.

Though this no longer affects me, I also noticed that the dating world seems to be affected — with many single conservative men salty that women don't see them as worthy of relationships.

Hating the people you wanna fuck can make it hard to date, yo. #TrueStory

Thankfully, I'm not the only one who's started to snub your followers. The more I talk to women and fellow liberals, the more I'm realizing it's a very common issue. 

I've heard my friends tell me they no longer can talk to family members, because they can't stand the hate coming out of their mouths. But, it goes beyond that and into the dating scene. 

I've seen girls tell guys they "don't date conservatives," or that they "don't date Republicans." I've also met plenty who outright refuse to date pro-lifers. Who can blame them? I don't want to date someone who thinks he's superior to me; I want an equal. 

Conservatives, as this Washington Post article pointed out, just blame "the lack of respect and openness to dating them" as the reason they elected you into power. So, like, they don't even see the damage their hate is doing to their love lives, either. They just figure it's our fault for refusing to talk to them after they disrespect our right to peacefully coexist with them. 

If it sounds like it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" for us liberals out there, it's because it is. Being around many, if not most, conservatives involves a lot of hatred, blaming, and projecting in our direction. That's why we're walking away from our loved ones. 

To be fair, there are also female cishet conservatives out there. That's who male conservatives should date. I don't think that people with such strongly conflicting belief systems should stay together, so it's really not a loss for anyone to have that dating preference. 

I suppose I should thank you.

I guess this is my time to thank Trump. 

To a point, I should thank you, I guess. 

I don't want to date someone who has the attitude that I should suffer, because I had the tragedy of being born a girl. I don't want to be with a family that calls me "stupid" for my beliefs, or hang out with people who would call me a "nigger-lover" behind closed doors. 

They chose you over me. They chose you, a person they never met, to side with over me, someone they've known for years. That says volumes about where I stand with them, and how totally incompatible they are with the world I want to live in. 

I will save money on my wedding. I will not have to bail out conservatives who would have told me to "bootstrap it" when I was homeless. Since conservatives tend to victim-blame survivors of abuse more than liberals do, I also am fairly thankful that it's gotten ever so much easier to see who would do that once they heard I'm a domestic violence survivor, too. 

So, thank you, Trump. No, really, thank you. You're the colonic I need to get all the toxic shit out of my life. 

Sincerely, 

Ossiana

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Dear Donald, You're Wrecking My Relationships